It’s Ok to Be Sexy (and a Mom)
So, I think one of the most unattractive moments in my life was just after returning to work from maternity leave. My shirt was off revealing my industrial strength Spanx waist-trainer so I could cram my post-pregnancy body back into my business clothes. Rolls of back fat cascaded over the top of this garment, which was clearly a throwback to torture chamber times. Seated in a little office in Human Resources, I attached my super sexy breast pumps to each nipple turning on “vacuum till you cry mode” while I looked at a picture of my baby, wishing I was home with her, and took the shoes off of my swollen feet.
And that’s when the fire alarm went off.
Women fantasize about rescued by firemen all the time, but let me tell you when one of them walks in on you looking like that, it really becomes a contest to see who turns more fire engine red. (Me.)
Let’s face it, new motherhood is not hot, which is fine, ‘cause you need to focus on that beautiful baby. But at some point you’re going to look in the mirror and wonder who the frumpy middle aged lady with the stained t-shirt is staring back at you and you’re going to wonder how to get back to the hot mama you used to be.
All week long I’ve been revealing the 7 Secrets I Learned from Bodybuilding. Today’s secret: It’s OK to be Sexy…and a Mom
5 Tips to Get Your Mojo Back
- It’s Not About Weight; Confidence Is The Sexiest Thing About You. I used to think that the ideal female body was 99 lbs. soaking wet, probably because I used to be an actress and the thinner I was the more often I got cast in things. But thin didn’t translate into winning a bikini competition, in fact I had always come in dead last. As my trainer, Robin, says, “No one wants to look at a skeleton on stage.” Women have curves. This last show I was 10 lbs. heavier than my first show and I won 3rd place. Do you know how I gained confidence? I practiced posing a lot! And by a lot I mean I did 1,000 reps until I could do them in my sleep and feel sexy.
- Get Racy Lingerie. Before I started my first competition, when I was at my heaviest, I sat next to my husband on the couch and said, “My grandma called. She wants her underwear back.” He laughed and then did the sweetest thing. For Christmas he got me a bag full of undies in a variety of sizes from XL to petite and said, “Whatever size you are, you’re too pretty to be wearing granny pants, Lisa,” and he kissed me. Every morning wearing pretty panties made me feel less like a mom and more like myself. Also…get rid of your Mom Jeans.
- Take a Pole Dance Class. I’m serious here! They are no longer as taboo as they used to be and can help you become comfortable in your own body. You can take classes that suit your comfort level from pole fitness (which is strength training) to erotic chair tease (no explanation required.)
I ended up really clicking with one dance instructor, Serena Hicks, and she truly helped me overcome my body-image insecurities. If you’re in Austin, check out one of her free cocktail party dance classes: Bon Bon Barre.
- Channel Your Inner Beyonce. Did you know that for many years Beyonce had an alter ego named Sasha Fierce? She felt too embarrassed to shake her thing on stage, so before each concert she went into character and was able to be the strong, sultry performer we know her to be. Doing poses (especially the back pose) in a bikini on stage made me feel very, very vulnerable. Serena suggested that I create a character during my competitions and go back to being “normal Lisa” when I walked off stage. It worked for me. (Say hello to my alter ego Kylie Strong.) Even if you’re not standing on stage, you might feel shy wearing a low cut dress when you finally do get out to dinner with your mate sans kids. Show off your assets! Let your significant other enjoy the luscious babe that you both know you are!
- Tend To Your Own Inner Child. Be honest: would you feed your child junk food, never let her outside to play and tell her she was ugly? Of course not!!! Then why would you do that to yourself? Nourish your body and soul. Feed yourself healthy foods, do fitness activities that are fun to you (kickboxing, running, skiing, whatever!) and luxuriate in your body, whether that means taking a bubble bath or getting a massage.
If you need a little brain stimulus to keep you feeling spicy (cause episodes of Dora just ain’t cutting it,) then go to a museum, play online Scrabble, or try new things like learning to play an instrument or a speak a new language or something creative like scrapbooking. Get back to the things that make you YOU.
Reconnect with your inner Sex Goddess. She’s still in there. And if you’re worried about losing the baby fat, don’t be, because I’m going to tell you how to do that tomorrow.
Now go out and be luscious!
P.S. – Please check out (and follow!) my Instagram account, Lisa Traugott.
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