Trash Talking

My friend and I are having a competition to see who can make the biggest gains in biceps in a one month time-frame.  It was during this smack down texting process I discovered how bad my friend and I are at trash talking.

This is a direct quote:

I’m getting my arms back b*tch!  🙂  🙂

Men don’t use * when they trash-talk, they spell out the full cuss word. (It may be spelled incorrectly, but that’s beside the point.)  Also, I’m guessing that they don’t put a smiley face after it, let alone two.

Other than Iggy Azela’s fight with Snopp Dog (uh, Lion?) I can’t really think of women who go for the knock down.  There’s that whole evolutionary theory that men either do the “Fight or Flight” thing and women (who can’t do either while nursing babies) do “Mend and Tend” to build consensus.

I’m not going to speak for the entire gender, but personally I avoid confrontation like the plague.  The closest I ever came to really good trash talking was this past March. My seven-year-old daughter told me that some boys had teased her during lunch.  Normally, I would say something mendy/tendy like, “Just ignore them, sweetheart.”

But I had just returned from the Arnold Amateur where I was surrounded by ginormous bodybuilder dudes on steroids all weekend, so I think some testosterone entered my psyche by way of osmosis, thus my new advice was, “If they talk smack, you tell them to shut their face!”

Yeah, Ima badass trash talker when it applies to seven-year-olds via a neutral third party.

To really witness bravado in action, though, watch a Muhammad Ali interview, it’s hysterical (and poetic):

Anyway, back to the bicep competition.  We haven’t yet determined if the loser will buy the winner a meal or if the winner gets to trash talk while the loser does an extra-hard leg workout.

I guess I better get busy brushing up on my Muhammad Ali quotes as I select my dinner, ’cause I’m gonna win.   🙂  🙂  🙂

Lisa 😉

Lisa Traugott is a Mom’s Choice Award winning writer, fitness blogger, wife and mom of two.  Her book, “She’s Losing It!” contains lots of trash talk and cuss words.  Just kidding.  It is available at Amazon.com.

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