Mom has cancer
July is almost over. This month I was supposed to be blogging about my first fitness competition; about my cool routine where I danced to the theme song of James Bond and battled ninjas using flexibility and strength moves. In the words of Woody Allen, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
I called my mom on July 1st. She didn’t answer the phone and didn’t call me back. I called her the next day around lunch. No answer. No call back. That night at 8 o’clock I called again. Nothing. I called my brother in a panic. He drove over and found her on the floor. She was awake but couldn’t move her legs and had been alone on the floor for 24 hours.
I flew from Texas to New Jersey the next morning knowing nothing other than my mom was at a different hospital than the one she was at last time she got sick. That was the first mistake. The paramedics asked her which hospital she wanted to go to and she said the wrong one. She chose the one her regular doctor was not affiliated with, so her insurance wanted referrals for everything.
The doctors said everything was minor. She had a kidney stone that caused an infection that made her collapse, but this was common and she could leave and schedule out patient surgery for the stone. But before she was discharged the doctor at the hospital, Dr. Vogel, said, “While doing some tests to figure out why you collapsed, we discovered a nodule on your lung. Now, I don’t want you to worry about it, but you should get it biopsied in the next two weeks.”
No worries at all, right? (By the way – Try setting up follow-up appointments over 4th of July weekend when everyone’s on vacation. Good times! But, at least it wasn’t over Christmas when everyone is gone for the month.) Setting up the biopsy took a solid week. Mom’s insurance, Aetna HMO, was taking their time to see whether or not they would approve the biopsy. Because medical decisions in America are decided by insurance agents instead of doctors, apparently.
Doctor Vogel’s office said Aetna approved the biopsy. We schedule it for the following week. We go to the hospital, she pays her $300 co-pay. She stopped some of her medications in preparation, and stopped eating the night before. She’s a diabetic so after she got the gown on they took her blood sugar. The nurse tells her that her lung may collapse during the biopsy and she has to sign a consent form. My mom gets scared. They get the IV in the room and promise to sedate her to calm her down.
But the doctor who told us to get the biopsy in the first place, Dr. Vogel, suddenly refused to sign off it. Even though he was the pulmonary doctor who reviewed her CT scan and ordered it. Even though the biopsy was coordinated through his office.
The technician wouldn’t do the biopsy without his sign off. She tried to get the doctor who took care of mom’s kidney stone in the hospital to see if he had a copy of the report talking about the lung nodules, but why he? He’s a urologist! They tried calling mom’s regular doctor to order the biopsy, but she wasn’t in the hospital and hadn’t seen any of the CT scans, so how could she sign off on it?
So they sent us home. Without doing the test.
DOCTOR DAVID P. VOGEL: YOU ARE A TERRIBLE DOCTOR.
I don’t know why you didn’t stand behind your own diagnosis and your own recommendation, but you wasted my mother’s time in getting treatment and put her through an emotional roller coaster she didn’t need to ride.
So we went back to her regular doctor and went to the HMO-approved hospital and got a PET scan. She has cancer in her lung and lymph nodes. Now she has to get (you guessed it) a biopsy to confirm the results. Her doctor told us the next step is to find an oncologist to discuss chemotherapy and radiation options.
We know people who have had good results with chemo, so my mom is going to talk with them. The focus is now getting rid of the cancer and staying positive. I told her about Diana Hurley, an incredible woman I interviewed last year about how she refused to let a diagnosis of cancer defeat her, and it encouraged her. You can read Diana’s story here: Diana Hurley – Strength in Vulnerability.
If you or someone you know has had lung cancer, or went through chemotherapy, can you please send me some advice? Links to websites you found helpful, tips on what to eat, ways to stay positive – anything that will help my mom get through this and be healthy again – it will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Lisa
Lisa 
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Dear Lisa,
I’m so sorry your mom and family are going through this. I have watched a couple of documentaries (Food Matters, Hungry for Change) about plant based eating and how it can reverse disease including cancer. If it were my mom I would strongly encourage a change in nutrition and more plant based before putting a chemical into her system. I keeping you and your mom and family in my prayers daily. Thank you for sharing your story.
Brendon
Thanks Brendon. I have a reference for a dietitian who specializes in treating cancer patients and boosting their immunity through food. I’m sure she will recommend a lot of veggies. I’m ready to learn more about it.
Oh Lisa. I am so terribly sorry to learn of this. What an awful doctor! Now is the time to get your mom well. You are strong, and I know your strength will be valuable for her during this difficult time. My husband lost his brother to lung cancer, but he was in stage four. With aggressive chemo, he lived well beyond what was estimated by his doctor (his diagnosis was very grim.) I know his visiting nurse advised his brother to try to stay as active as he was able. He enjoyed playing the steel pan, so he tried to go to practice whenever he had the strength and not stay alone all the time.
You are in my prayers tonight. I will ask Andy about anything he can offer about his brother’s treatment and any other helpful info.
Blessing my friend.
XOXOX
Thanks so much for the prayers, and I’m sorry for the loss of your brother-in-law. I’ve been hearing good things about chemo’s results. The side effects sound scary, but if it extends her life it’s worth it.
My heart goes out to you, your family, and especially your mom. Healthcare has become more about business and making money than healing people. There is no excuse for the inaction of that doctor. NONE! I can empathize with your frustration and anger over it. I will say some prayers of strength and healing for all of you. Though some of your readers may be more silent than others, please know that we are here to support you and lift you up whenever you need it.
Robyn,
Thanks so much – it means a lot!
So sorry to hear the news. Being a chemo survivor myself I found that during the ordeal everything I knew went out the window about what I could eat that did or didn’t agreed with me. My sense of taste was all fouled up. I finally started once a day eating the largest chocolate bar I could find. The flavor of chocolate was always good and even with those calories I was still losing too much weight. If they decide to do radiation keep hot water away the area they treat. Dry the area before treatment. And try to keep a positive attitude. And expect to be the supervisor because the medical staff will foul up every chance they get.
Thanks for the info, David. The tips are very helpful.
Oh Lisa! So sorry. What a terrible experience. You will know more once you have the biopsy results. My husband and I are both cancer survivors, and we know many others who have overcome it. For now, waiting for information is the hardest part. Keep us posted. Adrianne
I’m glad you both survived it – that is encouraging! We should get the results on Tuesday; hoping for the best.
Lisa, I am so, so sorry. My dad had lung cancer after smoking 2 packs a day for most his life. Chemo gave him 2 more years with his grandkids and daughters, well longer than the original prognosis he had been given. Had he not had other medical issues he could have beaten the odds further. He tried to keep a positive attitude towards it and always figured he would beat it.
I am so sorry about the first doctor; I hope that a strongly worded letter is sent to his hospital. There is no reason for that at all.
Take care xxx
I’m sorry to hear about your dad. An extra two years sounds encouraging. We have to hear what her treatment will be still.
I’m so sorry Lisa. I don’t have any articles or advice for you but just know that we are here for you. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.
Thanks so much
Just reading this. Godspeed. To all of you.
Thank you