You’re in a Different Place Now

I have a fear of falling; this is not without merit.  My kindergarten gym teacher told me I wouldn’t fall if I looked straight ahead.  Then I fell through the trampoline and said, “told you…”  I also fell through bleachers (middle school,) wiped out in front of everyone going up the main ramp to the front door on a sunny day (high school,) and tripped over my own bootlaces in the main lobby at my first job.  (Hope the people watching the surveillance video were not laughing too hard.)

So I felt it was quite reasonable to clutch the stairwell railing for dear life this August when Daniel wanted me to do sprints up and down the stairs at Metroflex.

“What are you doing?  Stop holding the rails!” he shouts over the latest Kayne West rap blaring at the gym.

“Ok,” I said, letting go of the rail and then proceeded to “run” at the speed of walking.

“Stop, stop, stop.”  I had a feeling he wouldn’t let that slide. ” You’re on the stair machine almost every day.  You chase your kids up and down the stairs in your house, you don’t fall then do you?”

“You don’t know the depths of my clumsiness.”  I’m still holding the wooden rail.  Bodybuilders are grunting as they pump iron.  A man puts chalk on his hands and glances up at me.  I’m embarrassed.

“If you trip, you’re just going to land wrong on one step, right?”   I saw visions of myself falling down the stairs in slow motion ending in chipped teeth and a dentist bill.  “You’re in a different place now.  You’re not where you were six months ago.  You have more balance, you have better response time, you’re not going to fall.”

And I didn’t.

This morning I felt so angry with myself for eating crap and gaining weight.  My whole routine was off course, heck even my hair was a different color, so I just decided to go back to the familiar.  I went on the stepper machine and then looked through my notebook and found my first chest workout from February.

While I was on the stepper my friend came next to me and she teased me for slacking off.  “I gave you a recipe for clean eating chili and you blogged about making beef stew with sour cream??!”  We both laughed and I realized that a year ago I didn’t even know that “clean eating” was even a phrase let alone a lifestyle choice.  I also never would have thought I’d have a whole slew of friends holding me accountable to this new lifestyle via a blog.

After cardio I stretched in the sauna and spoke with my other friend.  I’m going to go his farm with my family after Christmas to teach his daughters how to stretch properly.  He also asked me to check out their diets.  I can guarantee you, NO ONE would have ever asked me to do this a year ago.

After stretching I did my first chest routine and was able to double the weight on almost every exercise.  I still have trouble with push ups but now I’m doing a regular one instead of a modified one.  As I was going to the locker room I ran into a third friend and walked on the treadmill beside her.

“Did you lose weight?  You look great!”

She was beaming.  “I did.  I took your advice and lost four pounds.  I couldn’t break my plateau but then switched up my cardio like you suggested and the pounds just came off.”

“Are you going to do a competition this year?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said, but you could see she was thinking about it.

“You should,” I said.  “You’re in a different place now from last year.  Your new start point was last year’s end point.  You can do this,” I said.

And I’m in a different place too.  Last week I faltered but today is a new day.

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